Put Failures Behind You

I was recently interviewed by someone doing a research project on successful Head of Schools. (The metrics she used for success which led her to me are shrouded in mystery.) One of the questions she asked me was what some of my largest failures were.

At the risk of sounding egotistical and as if I lack all self-knowledge, I struggled to come up with an answer and ultimately selected a trivial point. After the interview, I both pondered on all the mistakes I made--I was able to identify quite a few--and why I struggled to answer the question coherently. 

As I was contemplating this issue, I ran across this quotation from Roger Federer. 

Perfection is impossible. In the 1526 singles matches I played in my career, I won almost 80% of those matches. Now, I have a question for you.

What percentage of points do you think I won in those matches? Only 54%.

In other words, even top-ranked tennis players win barely more than half of the points they play. When you lose every second point on average, you learn not to dwell on every shot.

You teach yourself to think, okay, I double-faulted ... it's only a point. Okay, I came to the net, then I got passed again; it's only a point. Even a great shot, an overhead backhand smash that ends up on ESPN's top 10 playlist. That, too, is just a point.

And here's why I'm telling you this. When you're playing a point, it has to be the most important thing in the world, and it is. But when it's behind you, It's behind you. This mindset is really crucial because it frees you to fully commit to the next point and the next point after that, with intensity, clarity, and focus.

His ruminations clarified my inability to come up with the mistakes I made quickly. When you are in a position of leadership called on to make many important decisions each day, each week, each month, you are bound to make a number of bad ones. 

However, you can not dwell on those bad decisions. You cannot indulge in negative self-talk about how a better leader would not have made better decisions. Instead, you need to soldier on, feeling confident that the next decision you make will be a great one. And most likely, it will. If it isn’t, the one after that will be. 

A good leader is confident, but not cocky, in her decision making and is content to forget about the bad decisions as she moves forward to make good ones.   

Give yourself permission to forget your errors and move forward with all your energy to make the next decision an excellent one.