Tell the Whole (and Real) Story

Those of you who read my blog last week learned about my racing heart and breathlessness. Unfortunately, days after writing the blog, I had another incident like that, rushed to Duke Hospital’s emergency room and enjoyed a three-day stay in the hospital. (Not to bury the lede, I am back home, under the care of a cardiologist and should be fine.)

In a previous blog, I wrote about Randy Pausch and his observation that medical practitioners need to be able to convey two seemly contradictory messages simultaneously: (1) we recognize your uniqueness and worth so we will tailor care for you, and (2) we have seen so many cases like yours that we know exactly what to do. 

I must say that the folks at Duke taking care of me managed to communicate both messages. They seemed to care for me as an individual and clearly knew what to do in a case like mine.

Pausch may have missed another necessary element: telling a complete story of your care. By that I mean, patients (or at least I) want to understand what my condition is and the plan moving forward. The plan should include what information is needed, how it will be collected, and how that information, once obtained, will influence the nature and timeframe of the care offered. That narrative is an anchor that prevents a patient from being buffeted by every new circumstance. Not having been given that narrative, I felt unsettled with my care.

The lesson of telling the whole story is relevant in schools. When we talk to parents, I hope we recognize and communicate the special attributes of their child and exude a confidence that we know how to address the concern. We should not neglect to share how we determined that an intervention is needed, how that intervention should improve the current situation, and a timeframe in which improvement might be seen. If we are in a place where the intervention will depend on collecting more information, we should share that as well. All this might seem obvious to those who have worked with many students with similar issues; however, it is not obvious to parents. 

Finally, if we can honestly say so, we should assure the parent that the final result will be positive. It is much easier to begin a journey if you are likely to achieve success. 

Remember to communicate that each child is unique, you have the expertise to help them, and then tell a clear story about what will happen, why it is happening and when it will occur. By following these three steps, your interventions will be more readily accepted and more successful.