You Idiot Test

The advice that leaders ought to be curious and ask questions is age old. Indeed, one of my favorite business books remains Stephen Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Successful People. One of his habits is Seek to Understand and then to be Understood. Covey points out that often we listen just to take a break before we make our (next) brilliant point. We are not trying to understand the other person; we are trying to convince them we are right. 

Covey recommends that one way to overcome this tendency is to ask questions. This is indeed true; if you are asking the right kind of questions. 

Recently I saw a LinkedIn post by Dan Ariely. In this post, Ariely posits that when we disagree with someone, asking questions is a powerful tool to get them to rethink their position. He does not suggest that we, the listener, might be able to learn something from the speaker, but rather we can undermine the speaker's confidence by peppering him with questions. 

Good teamwork demands that we understand the perspectives of our teammates, particularly when they differ from our own. The whole idea of bringing diversity of thought to the table is to encourage looking at issues from many different angles. When we are confused about a point someone is trying to make, we should ask authentic questions--questions that are attempting to clarify the speaker’s point--to better understand their view. The work of understanding all differing views will lead to better decisions. 

While it is obvious that you think your view is the correct one, it should be equally obvious that people holding differing views feel just as strongly their view is correct. Only by understanding the whys behind the views can we discover the best way forward.

The “you idiot” test, suggested by Roger Schwarz in his book Smart Leaders Smarter Teams, is one interesting way to determine if you are asking genuine questions. If you can (silently) add “you idiot” to the end of your question you know you are not asking that question to understand but rather to be understood.  As a result, don’t ask it. 

If you feel you want to make a point, don’t couch it as a question rather own that you are forwarding your position and not trying to deepen your understanding of the speaker’s. That clarity will also improve team functioning. 

Teams benefit when everyone’s perspective is understood and considered. One of the best ways of accomplishing that is to ask genuine, not “you idiot”, questions.